Channelling Monochromatic Miranda...I can do that.

Back from Sydney and really not sure what I was worried about...my wardrobe came together on the day as I knew it would courtesy of the burgundy DF dress I forgot I was picking up from my local dry-cleaners on the Wednesday before take-off. If I had just sat back, stayed calm and trusted in my SATC 2 almanac, which has never let me down, I could have saved myself the wardrobe massacre of the previous day. Silly me. I was hoping to post whilst I was away, but alas, my fabulous room at the Sydney Marriott at Circular Quay was not used for anything but sleeping, showering and dressing such was the bulging agenda over the two days I was interstate. And as for worrying about whether my idea of corporate was corporate enough for the corporate world, I shouldn’t have bothered...I found out pretty quick that a little injection of colour, even in Sydney, went a long way in a familiar sea of black!

So this is my dress. Isn’t it adorable? I know my wonderful friend Mel will concur because she has one exactly the same. This means of course, we need to ring each other before we arrange to catch up on the train, just in case people think we are indulging in a little bit of ‘single white female.’ Originally I had placed it on lay-by at Diana Ferrari when it was on sale for a very reasonable $69.95 (50 per cent off the recommended retail price) but managed to pick it up for a ridiculous $49.00 courtesy of an additional 30 per cent off sale items. Usually once you have put an item on layby, additional reductions don’t apply, but if you don’t ask, you don’t get and let’s face it...I had been there numerous times over the previous couple of weeks and dragged a couple of very valuable buyers along for the ride. I had developed relationships! Anyway, I fell in love with this frock at first sight, partly because of the colour – not exactly in my colour spectrum but pretty close and partly because it had my name written all over it. I’m not kidding, you put an empire waist on top of a knee length pencil skirt and add a bishop sleeve and you’ve got yourself a sale! A bishop sleeve by the way (courtesy of Wikipedia) is a long sleeve that is fuller at the bottom than the top and gathered at the wrist by a cuff. I will admit that I was a little unsure about the frill despite being a sucker for a key-hole button feature at the neck and back tie. There have been many instances in the past where frills and E-cups have been a complete disaster despite my best intentions and had I not taken the time to try on this fabulous frock, I would have missed out on something quite special.  My E-cups love it!

To complete the look, I added a pair of egg plant Leona Edmiston stockings with detail – also brought on sale, and to-die-for metallic Wittner heels I picked up for a bargain at $50.  Seriously, why do I not do bargain for a living??

As far as jewellery went, I kept it very simple. These are the triple-strand beads I rescued from the Mother Fox garage sale I have mentioned previously. They are more closely aligned to my colour wheel, which was a spectacular way of making a colour that was not quite right, more attractive to my skin tone. You can just imagine my horror when I discovered they were bound for a 50 cent box, can’t you? Really woman, what were you thinking!!! My bling-ring was another Diva purchase and a good contrast to the mix of burgundy and purple, and my ear-rings, which are not photographed because they are a tad small and the close up was scary, were a delicate vintage creation in black chrome I picked up from Noni B...yes, Noni B...don’t knock it...it’s not what it was 10 years ago...for 50 per cent off the lowest marked price, which means I paid about $4.95.

I decided, in wearing this dress that I would channel Cynthia Nixon from SATC 2. I been so absorbed in replicating SJP for the sake of illustrating the benefits of shopping your own wardrobe, I almost forgot how much I adored the costumes that adorned the monochromatic Miranda - except the halter-pant suit because that was just nasty.  It is really not worth launching into a how-to on this outfit, because my check-list would really only consist of the following:

Knee length dress in one colour – Yes, and its burgundy, what luck.

High-heeled shoes in variation of one dress colour – Yes. Again, luck; and

Accessories to match – yes, yes and yes.

Doesn’t really get simpler than that!

Oh yes and this is my favourite tea-cup.  It fitted into the well matched colour scheme, I thought I would add it the post.  Just for fun.

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Its not always about the clothes...I like to buy homewares too

As strange as it might seem, shopping for clothes, shoes and accessories is not my only passion. I know, weird huh! I also like to shop for fabulous things for my two little people and buy French inspired home-wares. When I’m not in a position to buy French inspired home-wares, I buy magazines that talk about them. Country Home Ideas is my particular fav and with a regular 2-for-1 deal, its value for money you don’t find anywhere else. Except maybe Diva! Anyway, as far as I’m concerned style is not limited to what you wear but extends seamlessly into how you live your life, and as your resident style-queen-in-training I feel it is only fair that I share with you my life-style obsession at home, albeit it, still in progress. This is my dining chair, Dr Love and I purchased it as part of a suite from ebay about 12 months ago.

The suite was exactly what I wanted; a round pedestal table (with extension) and six chairs – two of them carver chairs, with cabriole legs as per Louis XV and all the for the bargain price of $320! My original intention had been to go for Parisian-broke and slap on a couple of coats of antique white paint as I had done with my Gran’s antique hand-me-downs, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The red-mahoney stain on the smooth round surface was so spectacular that every time I walked past my new table, my finger-tips reached out to it in hopeless affection. Even after Dr Love’s fish and chip debacle that left a nasty white mark and a few minor incidents with excitable little people playing with forks, I still can’t do it! Despite my proficiency with a $4 brush from Bunnings and pot of acrylic off-white there was no way I could do its beauty, however currently worn and torn, justice. It was pretty clear from the onset that the chairs were not spawned by said table, but rather lovingly adopted. They were a little on the low-side for the height of the table – hello spare lounge cushions, and the wood was too dark to be a perfect match, but I didn’t mind. I’m a bit of mix-and-don’t-really-care-if-it-matches kind of girl, so I liked the fact the chairs were a bit of a ring in.

Lucky for me, with their dull brown velvet coverings, they were also in dire need of an MFS make-over. I brought the fabric from Spotlight for about $12 a metre and then re-cycled the original caramel brown trim to hide the world’s greatest number of staples I used to hold the backing in place. I don’t envy myself having to pull those suckers out again when I need to recover.

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I went shopping today and didn't spend a cent!

A funny thing happened on the way to the smallest wardrobe in the world today. That scrumptious monochromatic look that adorned SJP on arrival in Abu Dhabi that I replicated on Monday suddenly morphed into a completely new and fabulous outfit without me breaking a single nail. Not that I should be surprised...my nails aren’t that long and more importantly...it’s what happens when you start to shop your own wardrobe. Inspiration floods your otherwise disregard for anything that isn’t new, while visions of glamour grandeur unexpectedly pop into your head and you can’t get home quick enough to frock up and brag about it to Dr Love. It all started with the brown empire dress from Diana Ferrari. I was lamenting over the weather and how long it would be before I could step out in style in my fabulous new outfit, when in the safety of my style obsessed mind, the dress hooked up with the dark denim skinny jeans I purchased from Sussan a few weeks ago for $39.95. I used to be a huge advocate of the frock-over-the-pants kind of look. Very forward thinking of me if I don’t say so myself because it would be another five years before I discovered Trinny and Susannah from What Not To Wear and learned it was a particular favourite of theirs when dressing those of us with good old fashion child-baring hips. Somewhere along the line however, I lost my frock-pant mojo thus denying myself and my thighs the Trinny-esque pleasure of a lengthened leg until a couple of weeks ago, when I pulled on said pair of skinny jeans under a teal wrap dress because let’s face it, it was frigging freezing and a pair of tights was simply not going to cut it. I added a pair of gorgeous DF shoes that I have been stalking ever since re-discovering the Notebook magazine several months ago, and picked up that week for the grand sum of $28 when all I was looking for was a bunch of semi-ripe bananas and pack of sausages. Go figure! Suddenly, my Moroccan inspired gold cuff (diva special) joined the party as did a pair of plain hooped ear-rings and fail-safe Guess handbag. For a bit of extra warmth I grabbed my banana yellow cardi with the three-quarter length sleeves that I brought for $12 from one of those disposal stores on the ground level of my local shopping centre and for all my shopping efforts, I didn’t spend a cent. Who says you can’t have style in the suburbs on a budget!!!

check out the close-ups:

Sunday night review on Tuesday...Shop Til You Drop July '10

Ok, I know it’s not Sunday but I really wish it was...what a day! At least I looked good. I’ve got this working from home wardrobe down to a fine art and there was not a trackie dack in sight, although I am some ways off from flouncing about in a full length day gown alah SJP from SATC 2. Truth be told, I had a hard time motivating myself to write a review for the latest Shop Til You Drop. Partly a reflection on the mag itself – I found very little by the way of fashion that aroused my style sense, and partly because after the excitement of all things shapes and sizes that was June– required reading for anyone who dares cross the threshold of their local shopping centre - the July edition of STYD is a return, somewhat disappointingly, to the norm. Took me by complete surprise actually. It started off with all the right fluff and glitter - Alexa Chung, former sidekick from the first series of Gok’s Fashion Fix lounged on the front cover in all her edgy-glam-grunge glory against a back drop of all my new favourite purple-plum shades, whilst words like “how to splurge smart”, “work in fashion” and "426 of winter’s sexist buys” leapt from the page in embossed and appealing delight! Even the light and bright contents page with its glam jewelled bling, killer heels and must have electric blue chairs shouted promises of fashion, lifestyle and beauty like no other. Yet, as I flicked through the pages on the first run I began to realise that there was little that tempted and teased my heighted need to bolt out the door to find the perfect outfit for the lastest girl’s night out. In fact it took me a good two or three determined, never-say-die read-throughs before I found anything that floated my boat. The latest edition of STYD, while still trying to stay true to the tried and fabulously tested method of delivering how-to on a budget – the “how to get the looks for under $50” really do excel against a backdrop of fashion spreads that are almost way out of my age range let alone price range (!) - featured just a little bit too many high priced items for my usual liking and went a long to camouflaging the treasures that did exists even if in part. This is evidenced by a 12-page dedication to the Australian Fashion Week (Sydney) and all things run-way (pg48-59), and a return to buying “luxe” items – now that the GFC has apparently drifted away on a not-so-still breeze. There was for my mind, an over-concentration on pants in this issue. Now don’t get me wrong, I rather like a good pant – actually I love a good pant, my teeny tiny wardrobe is full of them, but the majority of those that graced the pages of the Shopping Spree feature (pg80-89) were rather scary and I really don’t care what anyone says...I can’t see myself in a pair of jeggings anytime in the near future (hmmm didn't I say that about skinny jeans once...something about Colonel Saunders and southern friend chicken legs!) As for leopard print pantaloons – never going to happen!

In fairness, by the third go-around, I found plenty of information and tid-bits that redeemed in part the quality of this likable little fashion mag. In fact, I’m even thinking of subscribing so-as to save myself $31 a year – that’s a half a Vogue subscription right there!! Oh yeah, and to be in with a chance to win a $1000 worth of clothing from Pepe Jeans London. Editor Justine Cullen offers an interesting insight into fashion week – not so glamorous when you are forced to stand for 16 hours in five inch platforms girlies, and I loved the two page tribute to the glam girls from SATC 2...stay tuned for my own take on how to ‘get the look.’ Sadly, I just had to hunt a little bit too hard to find them. Oh well, you can’t win them all. Would I buy it if I was you...yes if you are a true STYD fashionista because like me, you will keep reading the bloody thing until you hit fashion pay-dirt. If not, borrow it from a friend. You still might like it.

Milla’s hot tip: If you decide to pass on the July edition of STYD, then make sure you grab yourself the August publication on sale July 12 for your chance to win hundreds of pairs of shoes – now that floats my boat so much I'm practically flying. To get your hands on a pair of high-end, high heeled glammies (or flat and fabulous cheapies) all you have to do is follow the STYD team on Twitter to find out in which secret locations these little gems have been hiding. Alternatively check it out on www.shoptilyoudrop.com.au.

I love Sussan outfit #2

This is one outfit that I couldn’t bring myself to layout on the floor; the green carpet would not do it justice so Dr Love and I played model and photographer in the backyard this morning while the kids ran riot in the kitchen. It’s probably the only time I’ll post of a photo of myself like it, because as I am sure you can understand from my posts, I’m the shy and retiring type! Anyway I couldn’t believe how fabulous I felt in this look. So fabulous I really am going to wear it to bed tonight because I never want to take it off! For some unknown reason I’d completely avoided the whole 198Os-boyfriend jacket revisited. I had distinct visions of looking like a card-board box in shapeless polyester until I found myself some killer jeans and a knockout tank from Sussan and suddenly I am queen of the world. As I did not own a boyfriend jacket, I took the meaning to its literal level and swiped Dr Love’s jacket from his side of the smallest wardrobe of the world on the promise I would return it as found so he could wear it to work on Monday. No problem, as long as he doesn’t mind smelling like Coco Mademoiselle! Clearly he did not purchase this particular jacket from Sussan, and well I’d be a little worried if he did, so I cannot attribute its fabulousness to my current goddess of glamour. Everything else to do with this outfit sans the sunnies, shoes, bling ring and intimates can, and if the looks from the street are anything to go by then I’ve hit the chic nail right on its stylish head. What do you think about that you little snippet from behind the sketchers counter, I look pretty damned hot huh? The jeans are the same pair of skinny jeans from yesterday’s casual affair, but with a good airing out overnight. I love how these babies hold everything together. They are just like magic knickers only longer. I can bunch them slightly at the ankle which helps to balance out my KFC thighs and hips and together with the black patent heels – an item every 30 something glamour puss should aspire to own, make my pins look as though they go on forever. Eat your heart out six foot tall supermodel. I added a grey cotton cami with lace details under the tank just to lengthen my torso and keep the whole rack in perspective. You remember this tank don’t you? It’s the one with the twist strap over one shoulder and drape neck that I wore about six weeks ago with an antique white drape cardi (also from Sussan I might add) and gold satin pencil skirt. It is so versatile that I thinking of having it stuffed and mounted when it finally falls apart from over-use. I picked up the necklace last week on sale for $14.95. It’s a fabulous length for any E cup and a great diversion for BB2 when she next attempts to launch herself at my ipod. A simple pair of sunnies and bling-ring just top it all off. Let’s check it out...

Boyfriend jacket borrowed from Dr Love
Sussan tank with twist strap over the shoulder and drape neck, $59.95
Sussan skinny jeans, $99
Sussan necklace, on sale for $14.95
Diva bling ring, $5
Wittner shoes, $30 brought on sale
Basque sunnies, $35 at 50 per cent off
Total cost $243.90

Milla’s hot tip for wearing the boyfriend jacket: If you’ve got curves then my hot tip to looking scorching is to keep it simple and slim underneath to balance out your bod and keep those curves upfront and forward, particularly if your BFJ is a little on the loose side and resembles that cardboard box I talked about up top. My muse Sussan lays claim to a number of fabulously stylish BFJs in the current collection but if your budget doesn’t allow for a new addition to your wardrobe then pop into your favourite op-shop and get shopping. The men’s section is likely to be just as fruitful as the girls. Just remember that the same rules should apply to cut and colour for cast-offs. Enjoy.

What is style? Where you brought it, or how you wear it?

Sorry to keep harping on about Sussan, but I simply must tell you this story. You see, I was shopping with my lovely friend Anna on the weekend and she mentioned to me she had been the recipient of a very thoughtful gift in the form of a personal stylist; a real life living breathing, did-not-exist-on-the-latest-40-inch flat screen personal stylist. Wow! I was in awe. I devoured these gurus of style as they worked their magic on TV every day for breakfast; Trinny & Susannah, Gok Wan, Tim Gunn, Rachel Zoe and the downright scary but fabulous Patricia Fields to name but a few. It’s the latest must-have vocation for under the 25s, far surpassing the power-suit dressing days of the budding trainee accountant of the early nineties and aspiring public relations spin-doctor of the new millennium. Although still fitting into the aforementioned categories but somewhat older than the new trendy young fashionistas, I rather fancied myself a member of the style team as I navigated my way through my family's wardrobes and defective fashion genes. But, I had yet to meet anyone that had actually procured the services of one who did not exist in a one-dimensional format. I asked the lovely Anna a million questions and soaked up every tasty morsel, until she got to the part where she was banned from ever buying anything at Sussan ever again. The romanticism of life on the other side of the smallest wardrobe in the world vanished like raspberry Clinique lip-gloss on the rim of a decaf soy flat white. What? Why? What was wrong with Sussan? Had this mysterious but idolised woman not seen the Weekend in Paris catalogue? What was going on? First the little snippet behind the counter at Sketchers and now the personal stylist! Was it a conspiracy, or were they related to each other? Excuse me for saying so, but isn’t style about the outfit you wear and how you wear it, rather than the store you purchased it from? Personally with my mortgage, the only time “the store” or more recently “the brand” should rate a mention is if they are having a sale; a very, very big sale.

So in Sussan’s defense I am going to dedicate five outfits over the next week to the I love sussan appeal and by doing so, prove to the doubting self-imposed stylettes of the fashion world that style is not where you brought it from or the label stitched upon it, but how you wear it. Starting now, check out I wore it to work today...I had planned on revisiting the black shift dress and burgundy blouse from a couple of weeks ago, which is why I didn’t bother with ‘What I wore on Wednesday’ but changed my mind at the last minute. Don’t you love it? The skinny pants and jacket represent the new tuxedo suit I purchased from Cue recently for a ridiculous $156. More importantly check out the gorgeous teal blue trapeze top underneath (albeit a bit crumpled from the day's wear), silk and bead rosette and silk scarf adorning the handbag. Guess where I got them from?...Yep, Sussan! Let’s take a look...

Cue suit reduced from $440 to $156
Sussan trapeze stop on sale for $30
Sussan silk and bead rosette, $19.95
Sussan silk scarf, on sale at 50 per cent off the lowest marked price, $7.95
Necklace from Ritual, Harbour Town WA $10.00
Bling-ring from Diva $7.50 (not their best work, it broke and won’t be worn again!)
Wittner heels reduced to $30 two years ago.
Guess handbag, gift from Dr Love, nil.
Total price: $261.40

Check it out: Before you say anything, I know...the outfit as fabulous as it is mostly black. Normally I wouldn't advocate wearing so much black and my style goddesses of all time, Trinny & Susannah would probably roll-over in their exceptionally incredible wardrobes because I've mixed it with a bright colour, but the cut of this suit is so incredible that I simply had to have it and had to wear it. Similarly, the pull of the fine teal fabric was too great to resist even for me. Sometimes your clothes just talk to you, and when they do you should listen!

OMG! I love to shop...and all for under $200

I had every intention of telling you to rush out and buy the latest edition of Vogue – far be for me to take credit for a complete about-face on the hysterically high-end bells and whistles in favour for the much more affordable (not kidding, review on Sunday), but I had such a cracking weekend of shopping, I simply had to share. Now, everyone who knows me understands that I love to shop. It’s practically emblazoned across my forehead in thick black texta and when I die will be embossed on my headstone; here lies Milla, wife and mother who loves to shop. I can spot a sale at 100 feet and smell a bargain up-wind. When I get it into my head that I could do with something new the line between need vs want evaporates like perfume in an over-heated change-room that’s usually not much bigger than the smallest wardrobe in the world. And so I found myself at DFO South Wharf on Sunday with the wonderful Mel at my side. Nothing unusual about that except I was also there on Saturday helping my lovely friend Anna find a rocking outfit for an impending gig that would turn her from mum-on-a-budget into uber-edgie glamour puss.

Anyway, Mel and I had a hankering to find ourselves some half-price bling and spent a fabulous couple of hours wandering around our favourite stores. We hunted through bargains and marvelled at sales and spent 30-minute indulging in Veronika Maine with some of the most beautiful day dresses ever known to gorgeous girl-on-a-budget. Don’t you just love 50 per cent off sales? Ironically, neither a day-dress or bling-ring was in sight when we concluded our expedition, but I did acquaint Mel and reacquaint myself somewhat excitedly with the all-American icon of casual wear Abercrombie & Fitch, available at Frat House; a clearance store for the American-obsessed laid-back fashionista-at-home just like myself. I first fell in love with A&F and its little sister Hollister two years ago whilst on holiday to the USA. The 5th Avenue store in New York is something to behold with its night-club layout, lighting and pumping music and 20-something male models wearing nothing but a pair of low-slung jeans and an open jacket. Six-pack means a whole lot more than a few tins of beer when you are standing in line to secure yourself some style heaven!! As I don’t do ‘just around the house’, casual wear for me, as it should be for you is as important as what I wear on the street. Only with a lot less bling! Twenty minutes later I emerged with two, three-quarter length tee-shirts, one brown and one forest green, two lacy singlets in grey and brown and two tank tops in burgundy and blue. The latter of which I secured for a fabulous $5 each. Each item went a long way to fill the void created by the great cull that followed the birth of BB2. So satisfied was I by my purchases that I declared to Mel that I was ready for home! Two hours later however, I wandered into Sussan with a $50 voucher burning a hole in my pocket and walked out a pretty cotton teal trapeze top, french inspired striped and fitted tee-shirt with bat-wings and a checked fringe scarf. As for the bling, I brought it today...a simple but bedazzled pair of ear-rings, and black and gold square cut ring from Equip.

Hot tip: With A&F it is all about the layers, and this is the tip to looking uber-cool in a casual about-the-house kind of way. By adding a touch of lace and colour, you can style-up a day that would be otherwise be spent scrubbing the toilet and washing the floor. Add some bling and a big pair of sunglasses and you can walk out the door without worrying about what to wear next. The added advantages of any A&F purchase is most of their tee-shirts and singlets are long-lined and can be bunched about the waist to hide the post-baby belly, and the quality is fantastic. Feels like silk and rarely loses its shape even if you do wear it when you are nine months pregnant. Love it!

Un week-end à Paris avec Sussan

I fully intended on sharing with you the wonderful fashion festival that was the wedding I attended on the weekend before I was distracted with the latest Sussan catalogue that had arrived earlier today. I’m a big fan of catalogues. I love pouring over the luscious pages and being tantalised by the stylish promises of what awaits on the other side of the store door. I also love Sussan. Have done for years and contrary to what the young snippet behind the counter at the Sketches out-let store believes, it’s not “mumsie” at all! Quite the opposite and wash your mouth out for being so profane! I purchased my first notable outfit from Sussan when I was just 16 years old. It was a pair of fawn pleat-front, knee length shorts with a row of tortoise-shell-inspired buttons down the front and navy, fawn and white striped polo-neck skivvy with shoulder pads. I looked super sensational in it, and if I still had it, I would probably add a pair of neutral peep-toe heels and still look fabulous – even though I’ve long since given up on navy skivvies – clashes terribly with my freckles and pleat front anything.

I had just mentioned to my wonderful friend Mel, that I had been a bit disappointed on my last visit to my local store. Despite my best shopping intentions, nothing jumped out at me and demanded me to take it home. That was until I opened the 24-page Coco Chanel-Parisian inspired masterpiece and fell breathtakingly and irrevocably in love with each and every look, including those that I know by looking at them won’t suit me at all. If you have not yet received your copy of “A weekend in PARIS” - conveniently mailed to all Sussan VIP customers of whom I am one, then you MUST join now and procure one of your very own. Or better yet, go shopping. Aside from potentially winning a shop-a-holic trip of life-time to Paris that includes $2,000 spending money AND a $500 Sussan gift voucher, the latest and most dazzling collection promises pure perfection for the elegant Francophile style. I am particularly enamoured with the look on p14 consisting of a three quarter length sleeve jacket in bright red ($119.95), skinny black pants ($69.95) and black and white long-sleeve tee ($29.95). Unfortunately with my E cups the tee is never going to work, but I do have a long-sleeve tee in charcoal purchased from Sussan last year and the cute little striped top with drape neck feature on p6 would be a wonderful substitute. The boyfriend jacket over the cute little striped top is also adorable ($129.95) and the red and charcoal checked scarf on the same page ($39.95) is a definite must for those cold days. Even the weekend tunic ($79.95) and leggings ($49.95) on the next page has me walking dreamlike along the Champ de Élysées the arm in arm with Dr Love (such a better nickname than DH don't you think?). Not sure that’s going to be my kind of top – I can’t see the collar, but I love the way it’s glammed up with a chunky necklace. There is an adorable little coco jacket, albeit in black, on p8 that reminds me of the chanel-phase that whipped through Target a few years ago. I had two said jackets, a black and a cream one and I threw them out... silly MILLA! I’m thinking of hitting Savers to see if anyone else had the same idea. I’m also loving my new best friend, the jean ($89.95) and the glitzy ear-rings on p19 ($19.95). To finish it off, have a look at the stunning new white romance sleepwear line. No-body does sleepwear quite like Sussan.

You know what? If I was still a teenager I would cut out my favourite looks from this delectable little publication and paste them on my school file. And yes, that is me in my younger days in my favourite Sussan outfit!!! Don’t I look divine?

Check it out: http://www.sussan.com.au/

Sunday night review (on Monday)...InStyle March '10

If you love InStyle for its breath-taking and carefully orchestrated fashion spreads, expert advice and can-do attitude then you won’t be disappointed in the latest edition. If you are like me, however, and love to gush over each page so you can bookmark your next fashion spend then brace yourselves for a shock. March InStyle is pre-occupied with high-end fashion and increasingly expensive brands – more so than usual and it’s leaving the suburban stylette-on-a-budget at home in its wake. Long after it passed to the dark side, I continued to worship my fashion magazine of choice. I could always find affordable treats and treasures throughout the glossy pages that now seemed fit for the super rich. The beauty of InStyle was its ability to make even the more expense fashion trends seem accessible, if only in theory. March is a different story. It’s hard on high and light on low and even the most imaginative of us are left overwhelmed.

While it still follows the same fabulous formula of regular features and how-to creations, the fashion element of this edition lacks the dream-like elegance of the previous months. It seems harder in some ways, unattainable and less...perfect with a high concentration on getting the "right look" rather than the look right (see New Essentials (p74-79) for clarification. No-one looks that good in pleated front pants with tapered legs and how many people do you know that own or want a woollen corset?). Don't get me all wrong though there are still some fabulous finds throughout the gloss including an Instant Style white combo on p64 for the Alice in the Eve blazer ($139.95 at General Pants Co) and Portmans cotton-denim duds for $79.95. The witchery trench on p68 is a good spend at $199.95 if you need a smart, go-anywhere outer layer for under $200.00. You Can Do (pg 70-71) is a good resource for wearing draped skirts, but again most pieces are too pricey to indulge. We would all love a Jayson Brunsdon silk jacket, but are more likely to pop into Witchery and save $550. Just on the drape, if you have hips and a booty then find a skirt with a drape down the front otherwise the excess fabric will make you look bigger than you really are. I also love the peep toe glass necklace on p79 ($149). Check it out at www.peeptoeshoes.com.au. Shop it (p81 – 88) is the new home of Hermés cuffs that cost more than my monthly mortgage. But,Diva are still in favour with affordable bling for any look and birdsnest.com.au have a pair of Karen Millen knee-length silk pant look-alikes (p82, $345.00) on sale for $59.95. Do check out p92, it’s a budget shopper’s dream. I just adore that little Jacqui E sequinned-silk tank for $109.95 and studded hip belt from Country Road for $59.95. Its just a shame that some of us have to buy the whole mag for just one page!

Thankfully the non-fashion aspect of the mag remains largely intact. There is still too much emphasis on celebrity-style for my liking, but some nice looks out of the AFI Awards. My picks are Kate Ritchie’s J’Aton Couture look on p120, Rachel Ward’s frock and hip belt (not the shoes!) on p121 and Asher Keddie’s Yoejin Bae gown on p127. The annual 101 Best Beauty Buys as voted by a panel of Australian experts makes an appearance on p168. Sadly, I don’t use any of the feature products but can absolutely recommend the Eco tools range of make-up brushes. They are available from K-mart (and probably most leading department/variety stores), are affordable and are encased in environmentally friendly bamboo. SMS your full name and address to 1997 5555 and you could win the lot. I also surprised myself by really enjoying Elaine Lipworth’s feature article about Courtney Cox and advise everyone to spend a few minutes and get to know this million dollar-an-episode editorial about a friend. She is brilliantly identified as a loving mum and business woman who, like the rest of us works hard to maintain a happy marriage and just happens to be loaded. To round it out, the latest edition features a 45-page wedding special. Still worth a good look – you might pick up a couple of good ideas for a cocktail dress or two, even if nuptials are not on your agenda any time soon.

At the end of the day, it is still a good fashion mag and does what it does best...creates luscious fashion experiences that if your imagination allows, can be recreated to support your paling budget. If this is what you want then don't hesitate to add it to your current collection. If you are after a style resource that points you in the right direction next time you go shopping however, then you might want to leave it on the shelf and borrow it from a friend. MF xx

Check it out: www.instyle-australia.com

What I wore on Wednesday

Don’t you just hate it when your real job gets in the way of your blog! I have been so busy trying to squeeze in a few extra working hours over the last two weeks – most of which have been spent glued to the home computer in a pair of blue velvet trackie-pants and teal blue singlet from target. Yes, even I have my off days - that I have completely missed sharing my numerous fabulous fashion moments with you, and believe me...there have been many. Like Friday for example, when I finally got to wear my gorgeous short-sleeved grey jacket with deep lapel and skinny-leg tuxedo pants from Cue. So for the sake of maintaining my infamous reputation as the average women-on-a-budget-with-two-kids’ stylette about town, What am I wearing on Wednesday has temporarily become What I wore on Wednesday, and I think you will agree that what I wore is so fabulous I am considering wearing it everyday!

The knee-length tunic dress was a Jacqui E sale item purchased for $59.95 when BB2 was just a few weeks old. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t advise myself or anyone else for that matter to shop for a frock like this just after giving birth – the E cups and maternity bra just couldn’t cope, but it was on sale and the perfect replacement for my poor old Katies frock that was starting to see better days. It’s a gorgeous little dress with a most flattering empire bodice and knee-length pencil skirt with matching pleats on the sides. It’s a little bit too saucy in the cleavage department to pass for a behind-the-desk type of attire, so the short-sleeve burgundy shirt from the Cue ‘In the City’ range is a perfect compromise, and I just adore the tie feature at the front. As you know, I promised myself when I returned to work in January I would glam it up, because there is simply no sense in spending over eight hours a day dressed in something that resembles a well used door-mat. I’m afraid I don’t subscribe to the theory of saving your best...if I did that then the smallest wardrobe in the world wouldn’t be a problem, and really, where is the fun in that? Anyway, the shirt was part of my five item haul from the post-chrissie sales at the Cue outlet in Harbour Town WA and purchased for a very respectable $50. So respectable, I brought two more! The t-bar platforms from the Wittner outlet at DFO South Wharf were a perfect alternative to a more traditional black pump, and my fail-safe Guess handbag added a splash of colour. A couple of bangles from Bardot and Diva, both purchased for $5 and my favourite pewter flower bling ring, also from Diva provided the finishing touches. Oh, and you might have noticed I included my iphone, which incidentally was one of the many return-to-work pressies I brought for myself, as an accessory. I had a meeting across town and had to catch to three trains to get there, and two trains and a tram to return. Having just downloaded Stephanie Meyers’ New Moon as an audiobook, it was attached to me for the most of the trip. A justifiable addition to any outfit I say. Let’s check it out:

Jacqui E dress 50 per cent off at $59.95
Cue shirt, reduced to $50 from $80
Wittner t-bars, reduced to $40 from $169
Guess handbag, $95AUD from Macys in LA
Chrome bangle from Diva, $5
Wooden bangle from Bardot, $5
Bling ring from Diva on a 2-for-1-sale, $7.95
iPhone from Telstra, $2.82 per day
Total spend $265.72

Hot tip: If have a tunic dress in your wardrobe that you think is a bit shapeless then whack on a cinch belt to create an empire line then spend half an hour admiring yourself in the mirror, because I can almost guarantee you, you will look fabulous. Plus, it will breathe new life into a piece of clothing you thought you could no longer wear. Do play around with different styles of cinch belts, because like anything different styles will suit different shapes and different outfits. For reasonable quality belts at an affordable price check out stores like Jacqui E, Sussan or Forever New. They do a good job for about $30-$40. If you can afford to go higher and invest in a piece of wearable art then head straight for Cue. In my mind, they have the whole cinch belt game completely covered. You won’t be sorry and neither will your daughter. MFxx

Sunday night review...Vogue March '10

Let’s talk Vogue. It is the Chanel of all fashion magazines. So exquisite in its compilation and imagery, many a women have clasped it lovingly to their bosom and sung the sigh of a teenage girl in the throes of her first romance. It is a magazine that solicits visions of style grandeur that the majority of us are never going to afford, but can somehow dream about, if only in our well made replicas. So then why have the last three editions of this ultimate style masterpiece been in my mind, so terribly, terribly wrong? I sat down last night with the latest edition – March, hoping to get to the bottom of it. An hour and several flick-throughs later, I realised I had to first navigate my way through 58 pages of advertisements relieved by only nine pages of stop-start content to get to the first feature - Vogue View, that was not permeated by more ads. Even then it was a bohemian-beach-meets-graffiti-art montage of images best suited to a 20 year old, than a mother-of-two from the burbs. Disappointment flooded me because at this stage, I was too exhausted and uninterested to discover the fabulous delights that lay beyond. Yet, this format of top-end advertising is not new. I went back to an old edition – October ’09 - an edition I had marked for repeat readings, but somehow for some reason the more recent publications have lacked that joie de vive I have come to expect. Have I become far too removed from the sleek and sophisticated existence of the world’s wealthiest fashionistas that I can no longer imagine myself strutting about in the latest Bally ankle boots on page 19? Or, has the best known and most adored publication on the fashion map launched itself so ardently out of the noughties and into tens that it is akin to a Jean Paul Gaultier show-stopper, rather than a working mother-of-two’s dream-catcher?

I persisted in my endeavours and was brought somewhat back to the fold by the Celluloid Couture article on p66. There is no doubt that the eminence of writing in Vogue, more than matches it’s ethereal style quality, and soon I was wrapped up in the opulence of fashion and the silver-screen epitomised by Hepburn and Givenchy and Tom Ford’s A Single Man. If you are resilient enough to make it that far, mid magazine is by far full of the best treats. I went on to discover another appealing article by Natasha Inchley about “fashion falling out with fantasy” entitled Reality Bites p84. My favourite Vogue moment is the Vogue Fashion feature on pg 106 -111. It is here I felt the stirrings of my latent imagination as I fell in love with the Coach tote and Marni acrylic necklace (p107), and wondered where I might find a Nina Ricci inspired anklet boot for under $100 (p108). I will admit the Alexander McQueen platforms on p111 are a tad frightening. I have seen them before in other publications and can’t stop thinking Edward Scissor hands is missing a finger. RIP Alexander McQueen, your brilliance will be missed, but your legacy remains. Oh, and check out the Open Seasons article on p114. If you are into social networking and fashion blogs, which I am, you will love it.

The back half of the mag is more substance in style, lifestyle and beauty. Far be for me to talk up advertising at this point, but I am a bit partial to the Harry Who and George Gross promo on pg 119-121. Their clearance centre at the back of their main store on High Street, Armadale (VIC) is spectacular and well worth a visit or three. The Talks aspect of Vogue (p125-134) leads in with everyone’s favourite Mr Darcy, Colin Firth, and will whet your appetite for film, theatre, music, and the arts. The pre-eminent fashion spread on p164, from which the front cover is derived, introduces us to a new fashion concept - scuba chic. It’s a little bit on the young side for me, and quite frankly I’m not a big fan of anything inspired by deep sea diving. But you might like it! And finally, if you like leather, than you’ll love the spread on p208 which begins with a stunning Hermés number that those of us in the real world can only dream about.

Oh Vogue! Maybe one day I’ll again clutch you adoringly to my breast like Carrie and passionately defend your breath-taking beauty and poetic rhetoric to my own Alexander Petrovsky, but for now I’ll be quietly disheartened, yet financially loyal as I wait for April. Check it out!

Hot Tip: Log onto www.harrywho.com.au or www.georgegross.com.au (P.S. It’s the same website) and win yourself a $3000 fashion pack including a $1000 to spend on the current GG / HW collection, $1000 to spend on Samantha Willis jewelery and $1000 to spend on shoes at DioDato. If you do happen to win, do let me know so I can be as green as that Jimmy Choo clutch on p60. Oh, and tell them that Milla sent you.

Sunday night review...Notebook, Feb '10

Show me a women who does not pack a notebook in her handbag or several scattered about the house and work to record all those life choices...frozen peas or new handbag? and I'll show you genuine Prada on ebay for under 20 dollars.
Milla Fox, Feb 2010

There I was, completely psyched by what was sure to be a rather controversial review of the pinnacle of all fashion mags, Vogue, when out of the box shot a relatively new-comer for the modern woman, aptly named Notebook, and knocked the crème de la crème off the top spot! Ok, so not technically your average fashion magazine...actually not really a fashion magazine at all, but it is, as my wonderful friend Mel says, a “thinking woman’s magazine,” gloriously free from the montage of celebrity heads who try and convince us they are just like the rest of us (!), so it can concentrate on the most important style icon in your life, you!

This mag is more than a style choice, it is a life choice.

It first appeared on the supermarket shelves some four years ago. It was OK, nothing to write home about except it really did resemble an oversized notebook that would needed an over-sized handbag or whole bedside draw to accommodate its bulging pages. It was the first and last edition I purchased until I found myself browsing through a recent publication at my gorgeous friend Cheryl’s house and nearly tripped over my ballet flats in an attempt to scoop up a copy of my own. What I love about Notebook is how in sync it is with the average woman. The Feb edition features over 178 gloriously fabulous pages of nearly every aspect of one’s life in a collage of sophistication, beauty, reality and genuine joie de vivre. The romantic images and graphics appeal to the Jane Austin in all of us, while the content is stunningly real, relative and at times, raw.

What could become my new favourite mag is divided largely into four essential segments – fashion and beauty – but of course, your life, home life and fabulous food – which I do like to read, but am hopelessly inept at executing! This month’s fashion and beauty features a fabulous spread on my current fashion fav, the working week. Love the Lucca bag on p87, and the Diana Ferrari heels on p79 – in fact love the whole look on p79 so much, I launched into the smallest wardrobe in the world and came out with a pretty similar look I didn’t know I had – pity the David Lawrence jacket I purchased in a huff because I couldn’t find what I actually wanted (!) is all wrong for me really.

Those of us not likely to tie the knot anytime soon will still enjoy pouring over ‘Bride on a budget’ (p88) with all its pretty neutrals and sparkles. My lovely friend Lynda will just adore the Supersoft slingbacks on p91 and check out the Simona dress on p89. Oh Vanessa (Warrington) where were you when I got sucked into the traditional-needs- a big-hooped-petty-coat-underneath-cost-me-a-fortune-frock, when I had previously convinced myself I wanted a simple dress that I could wear more than once? Hey Hon, let’s get married again...

The home life section, found toward the back half of the mag is a style delight for the whole house. I’m a big fan of the white washed walls and floors, and adore the clutter free, well worn lived-in look...damn you green carpet and ugly couch. Whilst the whole publication is a treasure-trove of delight, my fav part of the mag is ‘your life.’ This section is truly, madly, deeply style for the soul with inspirational and can-do articles on “Making a change” in your career, finances, health and life. Former managing editor of Elle magazine, Caroline Mead (see her blog style-mate-cheatsguide.blogspot.com) takes us on an easy-to-do journey to “Reclaim your style” (not that you need it...you've got me...hehehe) and we meet five completely amazing women who threw caution to the wind to embark on their life-long dreams of owning and operating their own business...anyone want to join me for tea in Collingwood? Mel, you've got to see these Chistina Re tee-shirts, I want them (p53). This month’s edition also features “sew pretty projects” with Cath Kidston, and a host of interesting comments and reveiws. Do yourselves a favour people. “Notebook!” LOVE LOVE LOVE it!

Check it out: notebookmagazine.com.au. You could win a Mitsubishi Colt!

What am I wearing

Back to work tomorrow and actually looking forward to it! I know, can you believe it! Since deciding to glam it up for the office, I’ve created my very own weekly fashion experience and am reveling in the chance to throw myself into the smallest wardrobe in the world and come out looking like I’ve been dressed by Patricia Fields. Ok, maybe not Patricia Fields because that could quite possibly mean denim hotpants with bum ruffles, which would get me fired, but you know what I mean. This week’s outfit combines an old favourite – turquoise cami with empire tie by Stella, and short sleeve grey jacket and slacks from Cue. I added more accessories than I would normally wear – turquoise necklace & bling ring from Diva, ear-rings from Ritual and last week’s gladiator purchase from Wittner. God, I love Wittner. Not completely sold on the belt – which I do adore by the way. It was a pre-peggie purchase from Kamikaze for $39.95 and I’ve been dying to wear it - or the bag (Lulu Australia). I’ve had the handbag for years, but feel it might be a bit dated. Perhaps I’ll opt for the pewter Guess bag DH brought me for Chrissie, what a thoughtful man.

As per usual, every item was brought for a bargain:
Cue jacket – half price at $119
Cue pants – half price at $60
Stella top – half price less 20%, $35
Wittner shoes – bargain, $50
Belt, full price, but still a steal, $39.95
Earrings, $ 5 from Ritual
Necklace and Ring from Diva, $10
Handbag, can’t remember it was so long ago, but the Guess bag was a present so it’s free!
Total spend $318.00

CHECK IT OUT: Putting together a suit-styled fashion statement does not mean everything has to match. I’ve teamed a lighter grey jacket shot with silver, with a pair of charcoal pin-striped boot-cut trousers – which look absolutely fabulous on anyone with saddlebags, then thrown in a pair of cream coloured platforms for good measure. What are you wearing?

Milla's guide to restyling your wardrobe

Ok, girls and girls here it is. Milla's guide to restyling your wardrobe. Its all you need to know to save space, organise your fashion life and solve the never ending problem of owning 25,000 items of clothing and 9000 pairs of shoes and having nothing to wear!

1. Throw yourself bodily into your cupboard - not really a problem for me as I have the smallest cupboard in the world.

2. Relocate its contents into the middle of your bed and try not to freak out. Didn’t think you owned so many clothes and shoes did you?

2. Try it all on! And I mean everything including underwear, shoes and accessories.

3. Be honest with yourself. Scrutinize every item based on how it fits and looks in term of shape, style and age. If it doesn’t fit, throw it out. If it is old, faded or tired or has shoulder pads and big gold buttons, throw it out. If it makes your ankles look fat, throw it out but most importantly if your boobs look like a gigantic German sausage strangling your ribcage, THROW IT OUT!

4. I’m not kidding! If it is not you, cannot be adapted (yes adapted!), makes a noise or was commissioned somewhere in the 80s, get rid of it otherwise it will only take up valuable space even if it did you cost you last month’s pay. If its in good condition either sell it on eBay or give it to charity. If you are unsure about one or two items - and this will happen, put it in another part of the house and forget about it. If you haven‘t gone looking for it in six months, get rid of it. Harsh I know, but seriously people, it's sale time. You need the room.

“Sometimes in order to move forward, you have to let go of something you love” (Woodall, T., Undressed., ITV, 2007)

5. Pre-organise, then reorganise - Separate what is left into ‘like’ items…you know shirts, skirts, dresses etc etc, then re-organise into colours. By sorting out your clothes and hanging or storing accordingly you will find coordinating outfits to be a much easier process with less time spent staring aimlessly into space while you wonder what to wear and where the hell to find it in all this mess.

7. Put it away - Decide where you are going to house your clothes and accessories and store accordingly. Invest in some wooden or padded coat hangers because wire ones are evil and should be banished from the face of the fashion world. Your local reject or $2 shop should do the trick. Ikea also sell bundles of wooden hangers for a few dollars.

CHECK IT OUT: if you have limited hanging space, reserve it for dresses, tops and good trousers. Denim and knits can be folded without having to resort to the iron. A bonus in anyone's language. House your shoes in boxes, which can be stacked on top of one another to save space.

And finally,

6. Get a good bottle of wine and grab a friend - this is a time consuming process and without appropriate support you’ll only end up hating yourself, your clothes and your husband and he has nothing to do with it.

HOT TIP: If your occupation or favourite past-time (no coffee with the girls does not count) dictates a different style of dress to everyday wear, then keep these items separate. It could mean the difference between a healthy breakfast with your family in the morning, or an over-priced toasted ham sandwich on the run.

My friend Jacqui

It’s been 16 days since the biggest annual event on the shopping calendar - the post Christmas Day sales, and I know what you are all thinking. Where is Milla? Well, I’ll tell you…shopping, where else! I have been out and about perusing stores, checking out change-rooms and rating what I consider to be the pick of the bunch for those of us who are trying to look like we are living like champagne on a beer budget. Kudos to the fashion buyers of the well known chain-stores. In the face of the GFC, they’ve bought up a storm over the last two seasons so that most of the brands affordable to those of us with mortgages and/or dependents are brimming with post Christmas bargains at ridiculous prices. My pick of the bunch is without a doubt, is the lovely Miss Jacquie E. Jacquie Who, I hear some of you more prone to high-end brand names saying in aghast. Jacquie E…she’s pretty, she’s affordable and she is so overflowing with massive reductions that you should shop there just out of principle. What I like best about Jacqui E, is her adaptability. It doesn’t matter what size, shape or age you are…this sexy, sophisticated little lass will deck you out in her finest for half the price. Dresses that retail in season for over $120.00 have been dramatically reduced…some by 50%, others by 70%. My fav (and one I’m trying to find in my size such is its popularity!!!) is a knee length drape dress with beaded detail around the neck in white and orange. Team it with a pair of beige, taupe or black gladiators and you are going to look hot! hot! hot! Or, whack on a pair of thongs and ridiculously large straw hat and glasses and meet the girls at the beach for a decaf soy latte and bit of a chat.

For the more professional, pencil shirts (PS) and shirts and blouses take on a whole new look with daring reptile or geometric prints and pretty frills and flounces. They can be had from as little as $20 (reduced from $80), although depending on your professional style, don’t discount the white and orange number…I want that dress. I fell particularly in love with a classic white PS with beige reptile print and skinny hip belt, but with my thighs…it was never going to happen. Not worry, I was spoiled by choice because that is what Jacquie E does…choice! Just remember to grab as much as you can in one go, and try it all on…preferably as ensembles, not as singles…leave that for another day. My cousin and I went mental just a few days ago and nearly sampled the entire store, much to the sales lady’s delight. Which leads me to another thing…the staff. Always very nice and very helpful, but still in it for the sale. So take a friend.

HOT TIP: If you are lucky to live by a DFO or harbour town then my advice is to skip the regular retail stores and make a bee-line for bargain heaven. Most of the clearance outlets stock the latest discards so you won’t miss out on what was just hot!

CHECK IT OUT: While you are there suss out Jacquie E’s answer to the short-sleeve jacket. It is style heaven for any shape or occasion. It sucks you in in all the right places, gives you cleavage if you don’t have it, and softens it if you do. Button it up for day or night, or leave it open with a tee and a pair of jeans. It is on sale for $99 and worth every penny.

24 outfits for under $300; I'd like to see that!

Took my fabulous young cousin Kate shopping a couple of weeks ago. She’s a great girl and I adore her, but her taste in clothing - Brady bunch tee-shirt anyone? - was clearly not from my side of the gene pool. Kate was only in town for a couple of days and desperate for a new wardrobe before she embarked on her first big career as a primary school teacher. Her wants were simple: to stretch her budget of a couple of hundred dollars give or take, as far as possible without compromising on style and value.

Easy.

Now, we’ve all heard of the term “capsule collection” right? It’s been around for a while, but probably made all the more famous to us mere mortals when Stella McCartney caused a frenzy with her said collection in Target a couple of years ago. A capsule collection by my definition consists of a small number of items, usually 8-12 that can be inter-changed with other items to create a greater number of outfits. For Kate's CC, we took ourselves to DFO South Wharf and the Table Eight-Barkins clearance store - a small warehouse sized treasure-trove of discount priced everything of reasonable quality befitting a young, hip teacher. We had already brought a circle skirt in white, purple and grey, and contrasting singlet the day before, but it was half an hour later when we really hit pay-dirt:
Two knee-length pencil shirts (a summer tweed weave in chocolate, and a gold satin with paper-bag waist line*) / a dark lavender blouse with vertical ruffles down the front and side zip, and white short cap-sleeve shirt with grey pin-stripe and waist tie / one pair of grey cotton knee-length jodhpurs / one short-sleeve, grey jacket with middle button; and one black cinch belt.
To this we added a sleeveless jacket vest in cream with golden undertones, brown elastic cinch belt and some bling from Jacqui E. Plus a short faux leather biker jacket - also in grey - with ¾ length sleeves for good measure. We had triumphed in a way, neither of us had ever triumphed before. Twelve items (minus the bling) and over two dozen different outfits for a variety of occasions, and only one of them, the cinch belt, in black. Wicked!

CHECK IT OUT: Paper bag waist lines apply to very in, very now skirts, shorts and trousers that look as though they’ve been cinched in to create a paper bag gathered effect above the waist band. Not great for everyone, so try before you buy.

Navy Blue and Black? Take it back!

I am absolutely appalled and outraged that anyone who calls themselves a fashion stylist would advocate that navy blue and black is one of today’s hottest fashion trends. No way, No how! I’m sorry people, as far as I’m concerned, if it’s navy blue and black…take it back! First of all, black is a non-colour and lacks depth. Therefore it lacks lights. So if you think that the all-black suit you have in your wardrobe is really that slimming, stand in front of the mirror for a moment longer and see what it really does to you. I can almost guarantee if you look long enough and hard enough, particularly at your good bits, it will do nothing. Put it together with navy blue and whatever light you think there is, will be sucked right out of you leaving those around you convinced you got dressed in the dark (and are still there). Second of all, navy blue and black are colours that do not look good on everyone particularly those of us with sallow skin and freckles. I am not kidding. It just washes us out and makes us look like a circus freak with pneumonia. Even when you add bling. So with that said, why on earth would you wear them together? If you absolutely must do blue and you love black, because let’s face it the vast majority of us do and you are desperate to put them together then opt for a French navy or royal blue contrast, preferably in satin and preferably with the black on the bottom half of your body. Unless it’s denim, then blue on the bottom is fine. But not with black, unless you have something to break it up in between, like a long-line singlet or belt. Sorry people but same rules apply. That’s just how it is.

P.S. Did you know that contrary to popular belief it is the style and cut of your clothes that make you appear slimmer and not necessarily the colour. Sure, an all-black outfit hides all those nasty bits but it also disguises all the good bits that give us shape. If you really, really, really must wear black (like me last Friday night because nothing else fit over these damned post-baby E cups), then wear it as a statement piece for a great night out with the girls. This little number is a very simple cross over dress purchased from Katies (yes Katies) over 6 years ago for $39.95! Belt from ebay at $9, and patent leather platforms from the Wittner clearance store at DFO Spencer Street, $30. Who says dressing up is expensive.

Don't forget the good bits

Understanding your overall body shape is a good start to knowing what style of clothing will best suit your figure, but understanding the individual bits...you know, your boobs, neck, arms, bum, saddlebags (need I go on) is even better. Take my friend Megan, we both have hourglass figures but Megan as a size 8 can pull off a boob-tube and skinny jeans with the best of them. Myself on the other hand, at a respectable size 12 bordering on a size 14 (and proud) are better suited to bootlegs jeans and sleeves lest we are mistaken for a sausage about to explode from both ends. Understanding your body bits will further simplify your shopping expedition and help you show off those assets you probably don’t think you have. It will also help you adapt a look you cannot live without. Like skinny jeans! If you’ve got hips and thighs, go with a jean with long legs and bunch the excess fabric around your ankles and lower calves. This will create width around the lower part of your legs and divert attention away from your problem area and even you out. Alternatively go for a gathered boot over the top of the jean to create the same effect, but be careful. If you have short legs this style can cut you off and the ankle and make your legs look shorter than they really are. Not a good look really.

CHECK IT OUT: My favourite skinny jean outfit. DKNY jeans picked up for a bargain for $US40 two years ago (and altered) with Country Road cream silk cami with front ruffle and mid-length CR peach cardigan, both of which were purchased as part of spend $350 get $100 off. Flats are from Wittner, and the $5 cluster bead necklace from a market stall at my local shopping centre.