Navy Blue and Black? Take it back!

I am absolutely appalled and outraged that anyone who calls themselves a fashion stylist would advocate that navy blue and black is one of today’s hottest fashion trends. No way, No how! I’m sorry people, as far as I’m concerned, if it’s navy blue and black…take it back! First of all, black is a non-colour and lacks depth. Therefore it lacks lights. So if you think that the all-black suit you have in your wardrobe is really that slimming, stand in front of the mirror for a moment longer and see what it really does to you. I can almost guarantee if you look long enough and hard enough, particularly at your good bits, it will do nothing. Put it together with navy blue and whatever light you think there is, will be sucked right out of you leaving those around you convinced you got dressed in the dark (and are still there). Second of all, navy blue and black are colours that do not look good on everyone particularly those of us with sallow skin and freckles. I am not kidding. It just washes us out and makes us look like a circus freak with pneumonia. Even when you add bling. So with that said, why on earth would you wear them together? If you absolutely must do blue and you love black, because let’s face it the vast majority of us do and you are desperate to put them together then opt for a French navy or royal blue contrast, preferably in satin and preferably with the black on the bottom half of your body. Unless it’s denim, then blue on the bottom is fine. But not with black, unless you have something to break it up in between, like a long-line singlet or belt. Sorry people but same rules apply. That’s just how it is.

P.S. Did you know that contrary to popular belief it is the style and cut of your clothes that make you appear slimmer and not necessarily the colour. Sure, an all-black outfit hides all those nasty bits but it also disguises all the good bits that give us shape. If you really, really, really must wear black (like me last Friday night because nothing else fit over these damned post-baby E cups), then wear it as a statement piece for a great night out with the girls. This little number is a very simple cross over dress purchased from Katies (yes Katies) over 6 years ago for $39.95! Belt from ebay at $9, and patent leather platforms from the Wittner clearance store at DFO Spencer Street, $30. Who says dressing up is expensive.

Fashion slave or stylist: Do you know what to wear?

Not so very long ago, a lovely young sales assistant tried to convince me a pair of pea coloured boots would look fab pulled over a pair of skinny jeans. It was a good suggestion in theory because it was then, the latest in fashion 'must haves.' What she failed to realise however, was my thighs resembled Colonel Sanders next home cooked meal, and the combination of tight denim and sagging leather would probably leave me looking like Pippy Longstocking stranded in a pool of green mud. While I have since learned to love the pleasure of a form fitted pair of duds, the experience left me wondering how many of us have become a slave to fashion simply because we don’t know what to wear. Or, better yet, how to wear it! Ask any self-proclaimed stylista and they will all tell you that understanding your body shape and shopping accordingly is very liberating experience. It will enable to you shop more confidently and avoid those expensive fashion faux pas that inevitably occur from season to season. Unless you are Trinny and Susannah who have identified 12 specific silhouettes and caused a whole load of confusion in the process, there are generally four accepted shapes that will accommodate your body.

Hourglass: Ultra curvy, a la Marilyn Monroe. This is me. Our upper and lower bodies are in proportion and we have a defined waist, which incidentally can be high, short or smack bang in the middle.

Pear: These gorgeous girls are smaller up top than down below, and look absolutely fabulous in smock tops and ruffles.

Triangle: Opposite to the pear. Lovely ladies with a triangle shape usually have an amazing bum and legs and look sensational in anything cut on the bias, unlike those of us with saddlebags who should know better but simply can’t help ourselves, and

Square: Also referred to as rectangle, oval or apple depending upon your preference, but usually characterised by beauties without a defined waist (until we add a cinch belt and then look out mamma!).

Identifying your body shape is not hard. Just think boobs, waist, hips and bum and their relationship or proportion to each other. If you are still in doubt, however there are literally hundreds of print and electronic resources available to help you. Just logon to google and off you go. But, if all else fails then spend a bit of time in front of the mirror and get to know yourself. It’s a hard thing to do for even the most buff of us, but with a good glass of wine, block of chocolate and understanding BFF on the bed behind you, its worth it in the end.