Friday, May 7, 2010
So. I had completely psyched myself into a major spend this week in the form a woollen Charlie Brown trench. I was fresh from my colour session and completely confident that I could nail this colour kaleidoscope on its techno-tinted head. The coat was a purple beacon under bad lighting and every part of my stylish senses screamed that I had to have it, even if it did cost $479. After a fortnight of doing sums and dropping unsuccessful hints in Dr Love’s direction I had almost resigned myself to the fact that the coat, like the gloss-pot favourites in the latest Instyle mag were way out of my current league when BAM it hit me in the head like a Prada swinging hissy-fit...30 per cent off! But not only that, Charlie had also added another colour to his already vivid collection, one that was more suited to my colour wheel of choice, caramel. Suddenly, my dream coat seemed easily justified as a smart investment less a few dollars because it would look absolutely fabulous with my ancient nemisis, the freckle! I headed for the first full-length mirror I could find and tried it on. Blinded by the price it was love at first sight albeit a little tight. I quickly arranged to have the next size put on hold for me so I could return later that evening , then made a bee-line for the exit.
By the time I returned to Myers later that evening, I was practically skipping down the mall in delirious delight singing “I am getting a new coat, yay for me” when I danced past Sportscraft and was seized by indecision. There in the window was another coat. Very similar to Charlie but this one single breasted, not double and therefore more friendly to the E cups. Oh oh! Banishing all thoughts of the stylish wanna-be from my mind, I marched determinedly toward Myer as planned. The next size up was too big, so I quickly revisited the caramel in 12 but my previous excitement had flown the change-room and the double-breasting suddenly seemed to inflate my chest toward a whole new frontier. Visions of the other coat danced in front of my eyes. Apologetically, I raced into Sportscraft, but the guilt of cheating on Charlie was too great, so I raced back. This coat was everything I had been searching for over the last two years and surely the uncertainty over the seemingly more enormous than usual E cups were akin to an unsure bride on the night before her wedding day.
Hardening my resolve I took it up to the cash register and handed it over. In one short swipe of the credit card it would soon be mine when I saw a pull in the fabric at the back of the skirt. Noticeable to anyone with a couple of eyes and fabulous fashion sense. Sensing a loss in sale, the young and perfectly lovely sales assistant who probably shouldn’t wear black dutifully ran off to ring her friends in the city and secured me another size 12. It would be here Sunday would that be OK? Yes it would. Slightly disappointed at not being able to parade my new purchase in front of Dr Love, I continued about my business with an unfamiliar thought nagging at the back of my mind. By the time I hit the check-out with a bunch of bananas and latest copy of Vogue light dawned in shades of blue teal and gold. I didn’t want it! The coat that is not the bananas! I had been so excited at the prospect of finding a coat in one of my colours and having the means in which to buy it, I had totally compromised on the cut. I’d turned a blind eye to a situation so obvious that it was very likely that I would put that coat onto its wooden hanger in the smallest wardrobe in the world and it would never see the light of day until I decided to sell it on eBay 3 years later. So, I did the only thing that seemed right. I walked away! Oh my gawd...can you believe it?