Alannah Hill! Young country girl from Tasmania makes good in the big smoke with a unique blend of Strawberry Shortcake meets Jessica Rabbit. She is intensely popular with the younger set but does not dissuade the more mature connoisseur from her collection. That is, unless you are an E cup or above because Alannah Hill, says my fashion savvy, size-eight friend Megs, does not make clothes for women with boobs!
That was few years ago. At the time I was a fashion tragic; a try-hard trapped in a discount prison of variety store damnation trying desperately to get out. I had just attended my first AH fashion parade and fallen instantly in love. From draping velvet skirts to delicate silk camisoles and fitted cream-coloured jackets with candy apple trim, her garments conjured images of carefree young women dancing through fields with flowers in their hair. But, as my friend slipped effortlessly into an sleeveless lilac number with velvet trim and I grunted my way unsuccessfully into a crocheted pea-green frock with a plunging neckline, I realised she was right. Alannah Hill does not make clothes for woman with boobs! But what does she have against woman with boobs? And more importantly, why would she intentionally exclude those of us with more flesh that your average size-six supermodel from her realm of decadence and desire? I too wanted to dance through the meadows in floating fabric with flowers in my hair. Recently, I found myself standing among her latest collection, wondering whether her phobia of the well endowed female form transcended marriage, mortgage and childbirth. I was delighted to discover her designs were as fanciful as ever and challenged our usual staid, stable existence. Although many of her designs cater up to a size 14, I found little that would fit my post BB2 sized 12 figure. I did find some success in her collection of knits, particularly her oh so cute cardies. But do be a little cautious if you do decide to run out and buy a couple because her finish sometimes lets her down and her seams have been known to unravel. Follow the manufacturer’s instructions, do not pull any loose threads and think twice before throwing your nice new cardigan into the front-loader with your three year olds’ pair of jeans!